Advice about Getting Older

"The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for." - Will Rogers

"As we grow older, we become like old cars – more and more repairs and replacements are necessary." - C.S. Lewis

"Old age comes at a really bad time." – Sam Banducci

"Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened." - Jennifer Yane

"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it." - Golda Meir

"I’m so old that my blood type is discontinued." - Bill Dane

"The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. - Mark Twain

"Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes, age just shows up all by itself." - Tom Wilson

"I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do." - Phyllis Diller

"Is it nice to be here? Heck, at my age it’s nice to be anywhere." – George Burns

"Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up." - John Wagner

“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” - Kitty O’Neill Collins

“Older people shouldn’t eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.” – Robert Orben

"Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on Saturday night and when the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you." - Ogden Nash

"It’s important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle." – Unknown

“I have successfully completed the 30-year transition from wanting to stay up late to just wanting to go to bed." – Unknown

"At age 20, we worry about what others think of us… at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us… at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all." - Ann Landers

"When I was young, I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties, I was called eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the exact same things I did back then, and now they label me senile." - George Burns

"I complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very few of them actually got past." - Robert Brault

“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” - Larry Lorenzon

“The older I get, the better I used to be.” – Lee Trevino

"I was thinking about how the older they get, people seem to read the bible a lot more, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam."- George Carlin

"I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap." - Bob Hope

"I’m 59 and people call me middle-aged. Tell me how many 118-year-old men do you know?"- Barry Cryer

"I don't drink alcohol anymore—I get the same effect just standing up fast." – Anonymous

“By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned just about everything. The trick is in remembering it.” - George Burns

“Old age isn’t that bad when you consider the alternative.” – Maurice Chevalier

"Getting older. I used to be able to run a 4-minute mile, bench press 300 pounds..., and tell the truth." - Conan O’Brien

"Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does." - J. Norman Collie

"You know you're getting old when everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work." - Hy Gardner

"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old." - Mark Twain

"There’s one advantage to being 100, there’s no peer pressure." - Dennis Wolfberg

"I've never known a person who lives past 100 who is remarkable for anything else." —Josh Billings

"At my age ‘getting lucky’ means walking into a room and remembering what I went in there for." – Unknown

"The idea is to die young as late as possible." - Ashley Montagu

"People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit." - George Burns

"Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician." - Anonymous

"It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” -  Andy Rooney 

Aging Well
By Michael P.  Garofalo