"In his "The Happiness Purpose," Edward DeBono has some harsh words for love. He
finds it unreliable and difficult to produce on demand. "The ideal of love,"
writes DeBono, "is to be replaced by the more reliable practice of respect."
This is not to eliminate love. Love is still a bonus. But respect becomes the foundation. And DeBono goes on to enumerate reasons to chose respect over love. Respect is durable. It acknowledges another's dignity, while love puts demands on it. Love can be a hunger, a need, a temporary madness, whereas respect is understanding and appreciation.
There is much more to this DeBono treatise on happiness. Most of it is common sense. The required elements are humor, dignity and respect. DeBono makes me wonder why I hadn't come up with this answer long ago. The inconsistency of love is a fact of life. There are people I can't love, people I've loved and now I don't. All that is quite understandable. And I can see that respect is a different story. There is no excuse for not having respect for another person. I may be incapable of love. But I am capable of respect.
When DeBono speaks of respect as the basis for happiness, he is not breaking new ground. Respect is no less than justice; and as far back as the Greeks, justice has been recognized as one of the cardinal virtues. "Heaven and earth may pass away," writes Amiel, "but good ought to be, and injustice ought not to be. Such is the creed of the human race."
It is not that we must love, although that is a wonderful thing to do. But we must have justice. That sits easier with me. If I cannot love, how can I be obliged to love? Obligations bring with them the ability to carry them out. I do not need to love or even like people whom I am obliged to respect.
I like DeBono's ideas. Respect myself, respect others, respect society. This is a manifesto I can live with."
- George Sheehan, M.D, (1918-1993).
This is not to eliminate love. Love is still a bonus. But respect becomes the foundation. And DeBono goes on to enumerate reasons to chose respect over love. Respect is durable. It acknowledges another's dignity, while love puts demands on it. Love can be a hunger, a need, a temporary madness, whereas respect is understanding and appreciation.
There is much more to this DeBono treatise on happiness. Most of it is common sense. The required elements are humor, dignity and respect. DeBono makes me wonder why I hadn't come up with this answer long ago. The inconsistency of love is a fact of life. There are people I can't love, people I've loved and now I don't. All that is quite understandable. And I can see that respect is a different story. There is no excuse for not having respect for another person. I may be incapable of love. But I am capable of respect.
When DeBono speaks of respect as the basis for happiness, he is not breaking new ground. Respect is no less than justice; and as far back as the Greeks, justice has been recognized as one of the cardinal virtues. "Heaven and earth may pass away," writes Amiel, "but good ought to be, and injustice ought not to be. Such is the creed of the human race."
It is not that we must love, although that is a wonderful thing to do. But we must have justice. That sits easier with me. If I cannot love, how can I be obliged to love? Obligations bring with them the ability to carry them out. I do not need to love or even like people whom I am obliged to respect.
I like DeBono's ideas. Respect myself, respect others, respect society. This is a manifesto I can live with."
- George Sheehan, M.D, (1918-1993).
No comments:
Post a Comment