Monday, February 02, 2015

Pulling Onions Again



Perfection can be the opponent of betterment.
Without vagueness we are bored with literalness.
Borderline cases are where events become really interesting.
I may not be able to precisely define religious nonsense, but I know it when I hear it. 
A coastline may be impossible to measure, but is still beautiful. 
You can’t slowly boil the frog unless it can’t jump out of the pot. 
A “heap” of something desired becomes an issue when the price is discussed.
Gratefully, shit happens!
The ten thousand things are more enchanting than the Silent One.
Walking needs earth, space, and the walker.
Sometimes, just one 'thing' is critical because twenty other 'things' are just so.
Take the time to melt into the Details.
Gardening is a kind of deadheading - keeping us from going to seed.
Don't interfere, be still, and listen to the litanies of bees.
Tooth and nail, and the stench of a dead animal on the wind.
When life gives you onions, it stinks.
A rake is spaces held together by steel.
In the student's mind there are few possibilities, in the teacher's mind there are many; but only time to realize very few. 
Mother Nature is always pregnant. 
Time creeps, walks, runs and flies - it is all about moving things. 
Chaos breaks its own rules to allow Order to play. 
Dogmatists are less useful than dogs. 
Take life with a grain of salt, and a icy margarita. 
The best things in life are more expensive than you think. 
Rather than "love mankind," I'd rather admire a few good people. 
Some flourish when crowded together, others don't. 
Garbage In, Compost Out. 
It is more about You and Now, rather than Them and Back Then. 
A pocket knife will be its dullest at just the right time. 
While gardening the borders between work and play become blurred.
When gardening, look up more often.
Just the right words can be worth more than a thousand pictures. 
Death's door is always unlocked. 
A flower needs roots; beauty a society of minds. 
A callused palm and dirty fingernails precede a Green Thumb. 
A working hypothesis is far better than a belief. 
Only two percent of all insects are harmful.  Why are they all in my garden? 
Create your own garden, the god's certainly won't. 
That something is eternal is unverifiable. 
Most laws of Gardening are merely local ordinances.  
Too save some time, don’t let them get a foot in the door.
Some slippery slopes are actually improvements or fun.
Butterflies and bees flapping their wings don’t actually create hurricanes, but we are very thankful they facilitate the emergence of fruits in the billions.
Without metaphors we can barely speak.
Just because you reject the big request, don’t be fooled into accepting the smaller request.
Finding a middle ground for agreement may be just half of a solution, and the wrong solution.
Sometimes the wisdom of the crowd is quite unwise and unfair.
Chaos breaks its own rules to allow Order to play.

Failures, disorder and death are the Grim Reaper of Entropy at work. 
Somehow, someway, everything gets eaten up, someday. 
The meaning is lost in the saying - a nature mystic's dilemma. 
Vigorous gardening might help more than a psychiatrist's couch. 
A gardener is no farmer, he is much too impractical. 
No garden lasts for long - neither will you. 
Shade, in the summer, is as precious as a glass of water. 
A wise gardener knows when to stop. 
Gardens are demanding pets. 
Unclench your fist to give a hand. 
The little choices day after day are the biggest issue. 
Gardening is but one battle against Chaos. 
When life gives you onions, you ain't making lemonade. 
Many friendships are sustained by a mutual hatred of another person or group.
Read until you go to seed. 
What you see depends on when you look. 
Beauty is the Mistress, the gardener her slave. 
One's "true self" is changing and elusive. 
A little of this and a little of that, and some exceptions - these are the facts. 
Does a plum tree with no fruit have Buddha Nature?  Whack!  

Pulling Onions by Mike Garofalo
Over 799 random quips, one-liners, sayings, and "insights" from an old gardener.







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