"Shit" may be the most functional word in the English language:
Gardeners know all about bull shit, horse shit, and chicken shit.
They might be lucky shits, dumb shits, crazy shits, or have shit for brains.
They know that some nights are colder than shit,
and some days are hotter than shit,
and other days are just plain shitty.
Gardeners all throw or sling shit, shoot the shit, occasionally catch some shit,
or duck when the shit hits the fan.
You had better give a shit,
and get your shit together;
or you will find yourself in deep shit,
smelling like shit,
treated like shit,
and end up being shit out of luck.
Once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything else,
and you'll be has happy as a pig in shit;
if you don't, you'll be told to shit or get off the pot,
told that you don't know the difference between shit and shine'ola,
served shit on a shingle,
and told you look like shit.
Shit!
You can smoke some shit,
drink until your shit faced,
buy some more shit,
feel like shit,
look like shit,
and find yourself in a boat load or mountain of shit.
You can have too much shit,
not enough shit, the right shit,
the wrong shit,
or a lot of weird shit.
Shit Happens!
- Mike Garofalo's Version of "Shit Happens!"
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