Don't Do Unto Others

                      The Fireplace Records, Chapter 33

Don't Do Unto Others

An acquaintance of mine, a devout Catholic, ends all his email letters with "Love, Arthur."

He has frequently mentioned the Biblical verse "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself." (Matthew 22: 38)  Love and loving phrases pepper his conversations. 

My underlying feeling was that these references to "love" were rather insincere and somewhat ungrounded, since I could not understand how two people with radically different opinions about life, religion, and politics could actually "love" one another; socialize and tolerate maybe, but "love," unlikely.  

In my teenage years, I questioned how this verse would apply to people who don't like themselves, hate themself, are ashamed of themself, denigrate themself, or don't love themselves in the slightest, etc. They would seem quite handicapped or incapable of loving their neighbor, insofar as they don't love themselves. On the opposite side, self-respect and self-love has some positive connotations, and can lead to loving others; however, carried to excess it becomes flawed and appears as egotism and narcissism.

I grew up in East Los Angeles, in the Bandini Barrio, for 20 years. It was a low income suburban LA neighborhood. I had a few friends and some good neighbors. However, as with most suburban neighborhoods, I did not know or have any relationships with 96% of my neighbors. I did not love them, nor did I have any opinion or emotion regarding them other than live and let live, let's stay at peace, and mind your own business. "Loving" them was not my concern; and, I had no ill will towards people I did not know. 

I also read, "In everything, do to others what you would have them do to you." (Matthew 7:12) If I wanted hard drugs, does this mean I should give or sell hard drugs to others? If I thought I should be severely punished if I chose not to follow Catholic doctrines, does this give me license to severely punish non-believers? If someone liked perverted sexual play, should they being doing these acts with others? Knowing that others have cheated me, should I cheat others? This moral maxim had some good applications; and, some bad/evil/wrong/destructive applications.  

In high school in 1961, I read Confucian texts.  I came across the Confucian maxim "Don't do to others what you don't want done to you." (Analects, V. 12, VI. 30, 500 BCE)  This ethical/moral/behavioral advice seemed to resonate with me more than the Christian advice. I thought I could apply this maxim more effectively in my daily life with the many people I encountered but did not know, or love. It was a way of caring for others by not harming them. I have tied to follow this practical maxim for six decades.

Comments, Sources, Observations

Gold is malleable, soft, valued, and long lasting; but, limited in other ways.
Rather than a ruler of gold, a flexible cloth tape is more practical.
Rules are useful if properly and intelligently applied.
Acknowledging exceptions to rules is a good rule to apply sometimes. 
The disadvantages loving yourself to excess are numerous.
"Love" is often just another boring cliche, a charming metaphor.
A church sign says "God is Love!" The Devil also loves his work.
Liking, preferring, and loving are cousins, sometimes distant cousins.
Yes, gold is valuable; but of what value is this value?

"Love" is rarely mentioned in Zen Koans; maybe 6 times out of 1,975 Koans. Egoistic-restraint, kindness without reciprocity, control of desires, patience, gentleness, helpfulness, asceticism, toughening, and wisdom are emphasized more.  

Golden Rule - Wikipedia

Ten Reasons Why Self-Love is Bad

Refer to my Cloud Hands Blog Posts on the topic of Koans/Stories. 

Subject Index to 1,975 Zen Buddhist Koans

Zen Buddhist Koans: Indexes, Bibliography, Commentary, Information

The Daodejing by Laozi

Pulling Onions  Over 1,043 One-line Sayings by Mike Garofalo

Chinese Chan Buddhist and Taoist Stories and Koans

The Fireplace Records  By Michael P. Garofalo