What the Crap?

Shoveling Some Compost Crap

By Mike Garofalo

Back in the Spring of 2007, I was working in my large garden in the Sacramento Valley. I was shoveling and spading compost, sand, straw, and manure into my clay soil. That got me tp thinking about how gardeners have fertilized for centuries before commercial phosphate fertilizers. I did some research in my many home library gardening books, and I searched the Internet for more information. I learned that the Chinese have been using human and animal nitrogenous wastes, yes Shit, as one element in their creation of good compost for forty centuries. I then created an informative webpage on Fertilizer practices, and then a humorous poem on the subject that I posted to my Cloud Hands Blog in 2007.

So, this poem I will read tonight from 2007 is just some Old Shit.

However, if you've never heard it before, it's some fresh New Shit at your door.

This poems title is: Shoveling Some Compost Crap.

 

Gardeners know all about bull shit, horse shit, and chicken shit.
They might be lucky shits, dumb shits, crazy shits, or have shit for brains;
but they shovel crappy compost shit for tasty beans anyway.

They know that some nights are colder than shit,
and some days are hotter than shit,
and other days are just plain shitty,
other crappy days get in the way,
but they step in the shit anyway.

Gardeners all throw composted crap
or sling shit, shoot the shit, occasionally catch some shit,
or duck when the shit hits the fan.

Now, I recommend, that You had better give a shit,
and get your shit together;
or you will find yourself in deep shit,
smelling like shit,
treated like shit,
and end up being shit out of luck.

I felt crappy today,
nobody gives a shit anyway;
we all have too damn much crap to do,
plus picking up the shit from our human zoo.

Once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything else,
and you'll be has happy as a pig in shit;
if you don't know your crap, you'll be told to shit or get off the pot,
told that you don't know the difference between shit and shine'ola,
served shit on a shingle,
get a ripped off by a crappy deal,
told your ideas arn't worth a shit.

If you can't shit or pee
your in deep shit
dying from a shitty disease,
that won't scare the crap out of you.
Damnit! Damnit! Shit!

You can smoke some shit,
drink until your shit faced,
buy some more shit,
feel like shit,
look like shit,
and find yourself in a boat load or mountain of shit.

Crap! You can have too much shit,
not enough shit, the right shit,
the wrong shit,
or a lot of weird shit.

In summary: Shit Happens! Please!

Fertilizer: Quotes, Sayings, Jokes

Poetry by Mike Garofalo
25 Steps and Beyond

 

 

Aging and Humor

 Old Age . . .

 

"To get back to my youth I would do anything in the world, except exercise, get up early, or be respectable." - Oscar Wilde 

 

"The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for." - Will Rogers 

 

"We must recognize that, as we grow older, we become like old cars – more and more repairs and replacements are necessary." - C.S. Lewis 

 

"Old age comes at a bad time." – Sam Banducci “

 

"Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened." - Jennifer Yay

 

"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it." - Golda Meir 

 

"The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. - Mark Twain 

 

"Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes, age just shows up all by itself." - Tom Wilson 

 

"I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do." - Phyllis Diller 

 

"Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere." – George Burns 

 

"Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up." - John Wagner 

 

"First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down." 

Leo Rosenberg

 

"At my age, flowers scare me." - George Burns  

 

"At age 20, we worry about what others think of us…at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us… at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all." - Ann Landers 

 

"As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." - Sir Norman Wisdom 

 

“The older I get, the better I used to be.” – Lee Trevino 

 

"I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap." - Bob Hope 

 

"Getting older. I used to be able to run a 4-minute mile, bench press 380 pounds, and tell the truth." -Conan O’Brien

 

"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old." - Mark Twain 

 

"The idea is to die young as late as possible." - Ashley Montagu

727 Riddles, Puns, Brain Teasers, Corny Jokes, Quips, Humor

  

727 Riddles, Corny Jokes, Witticisms, Brain Teasers


Riddles, Puzzles, Paradoxes, Humor

Curious Questions, Brain-Teasers

Koans, Quizzers, Jokes, Nonsense

Knock Knock Jokes, Corny Jokes

Spoonerisms, Clever Statements

Cliches, Bad Jokes, Quips, Puns

Fallacies, Witticisms, Definitions

Discordian Statements

727 Quotations

Compiled by Michael P. Garofalo

727 Riddles, Corny Jokes, Witticisms, Puns, Brain Teasers

No Advertising, No Pop-Up Ads, No Boxed Ads!

No Cookie Requests, No Videos, No Commercials!

727 Riddles, Corny Jokes, Witticisms, Brain Teasers

Laughter

"In all its many-splendored varieties, humor can be simply defined as a type of stimulation that tends to elicit the laughter reflex. Spontaneous laughter is a motor reflex produced by the coordinated contraction of 15 facial muscles in a stereotyped pattern and accompanied by altered breathing. Electrical stimulation of the main lifting muscle of the upper lip, the zygomatic major, with currents of varying intensity produces facial expressions ranging from the faint smile through the broad grin to the contortions typical of explosive laughter.

The laughter and smile of civilized man is, of course, often of a conventional kind, in which voluntary intent substitutes for, or interferes with, spontaneous reflex activity; this article is concerned, however, only with the latter. Once laughter is realized to be a humble reflex, several paradoxes must be faced. Motor reflexes, such as the contraction of the pupil of the eye in dazzling light, are simple responses to simple stimuli whose value to survival is obvious. But the involuntary contraction of 15 facial muscles, associated with certain irrepressible noises, strikes one as an activity without any utilitarian value, quite unrelated to the struggle for survival. Laughter is a reflex but unique in that it has no apparent biological purpose. One might call it a luxury reflex. Its only function seems to be to provide relief from tension.

The second related paradox is a striking discrepancy between the nature of the stimulus and that of the response in humorous transactions. When a blow beneath the kneecap causes an automatic upward kick, both “stimulus” and “response” function on the same primitive physiological level, without requiring the intervention of the higher mental functions. But that such a complex mental activity as reading a comic story should cause a specific reflex contraction of the facial muscles is a phenomenon that has puzzled philosophers since Plato. There is no clear-cut, predictable response that would tell a lecturer whether he has succeeded in convincing his listeners; but, when he is telling a joke, laughter serves as an experimental test. Humor is the only form of communication in which a stimulus on a high level of complexity produces a stereotyped, predictable response on the physiological reflex level. Thus the response can be used as an indicator for the presence of the elusive quality that is called humor—as the click of the Geiger counter is used to indicate the presence of radioactivity. Such a procedure is not possible in any other form of art; and, since the step from the sublime to the ridiculous is reversible, the study of humor provides clues for the study of creativity in general."
 Britannica - Humor

Pulling Onions Again and Again

When Death grins at you, grin back; when death beckons you, run away.
Thankfully, we can imagine nearly everything─ which helps prevent boredom. 
A garden is a Romantic's parádeisos.

It's over when it ends.
Act on your knowledge first, your common sense second, and your best guess third.
Wear a variety of masks; acting is essential to coping.
A garden is a feeling.
Acknowledging that you might die today has stopped few from trying to stay alive to 80.
Dreams are our imagination at play while we sleep. 

You can train yourself to eliminate bad habits and useless thoughts; for example, stop attending any more church services starting today.
Seventy percent of "good luck" is following reasonable plans and working diligently; the rest is often beneficial circumstances outside of your control.
No garden lasts for long - neither will you. 
Shade, in the summer, is as precious as a glass of water.  
Fear may keep some stupid people in line, but virtue for virtue's sake attracts the allegiance and support of most intelligent people. 
The most important Master to seek and follow is Self-Mastery.  
There is no 'i' in "team," but there is an 'm' in me, my, and mine.  

Sometimes it is best to walk away and never walk back. 
Exercise is a way of making the unconscious body very conscious. 
A wise gardener knows when to stop. 
Gardens are demanding pets. 
Unclench your fist to give a hand. 
The little choices day after day are the biggest issue. 

Gardening is but one battle against Chaos. 
When life gives you onions, it stinks and you ain't making lemonade. 
Many friendships are sustained by a mutual hatred of another person or group.
What you see depends on when you look. 
Beauty is the Mistress, the gardener her slave. 

Wishes are like seeds, few ever develop into something.  
My mind is a sea I cannot see into; I merely skim along its surface.
Absolutes squirm beneath realities. 
There is not much to say about "The Unknown." 
Objectivity is a product of our agreements, and an important feature of my imagination. 
Hearing the cat purr when we pet them gently matters far more to us than whether the cat's fur is black, white, or orange. 
If you think you are damned if you do or damned if you don't, your not thinking creatively enough. 
The ten thousand things are more enchanting than the Silent One. 
To lift the mind, move the body.  

Mother Nature is always pregnant. 
Time creeps, walks, runs and flies - it is all about moving things. 
Chaos breaks its own rules to allow Order to play. 
A flower needs roots; beauty a society of minds. 
A callused palm and dirty fingernails precede a Green Thumb. 
A working hypothesis is far better than a belief. 

One's "true self" is changing and elusive. 
Stupidity and shallowness are increasingly popular. 
The News Media feed our ravenous obsessions with shock, surprise, and slander.
A little of this and a little of that, and some exceptions - these are the facts. 
Does a plum tree with no fruit have Buddha Nature?  Whack! 
-  Mike Garofalo


Pulling Onions by Mike Garofalo
Over 888 random quips, one-liners, sayings, and "insights" from an old gardener.

"An Onion Garden,"  a concrete poem by Mike Garofalo

Subject Indexes to Zen Master Raven by Robert Aitken

Zen Master Raven: The Teachings of a Wise Old Bird. Compiled and annotated by Robert Aitken. Illustrated by Jennifer Rain Crosby. Foreword by Nelson Foster. Wisdom, 2002, 2017, 229 pages. VSCL, Hardbound. 183 Brief Koans.
Most koans feature Master Raven giving anwers or comments, and asking follow up questions; therefore, I chose to use the character Master Raven is talking to for the Student/Learner under the index heading of "Master, Teacher." Otherwise, nearly all 183 koans would be listed under Master Raven. Just automatically assume the central teacher in nearly all these koans is Zen Master Raven.

Subject Index to Zen Master Raven's 183 Koans Collection. PDF, November 21, 2023, 28 pages.

Case Titles Index to Zen Master Raven's 183 Koans Collection. PDF, November 21, 2023, 7 pages.

Case Number Index to Zen Master Raven's 183 Koans Collection. PDF, November 21, 2023, 7 pages.

Animals and Responders Index to Zen Master Raven's 183 Koans Collection. PDF, November 21, 2023, 7 pages.

Subject Index to 1,975 Zen Buddhist Koans

Keys to Zen Buddhist Koans Database Collection

Taking the Path of Zen. By Robert Aitken. North Point Press, 1982, 149 pages.

The Gateless Barrier: The Wu-Men Kuan (Mumonkan). Translated with commentary by Robert Aitken. North Point Press, 1991, 325 pages.

Zen Master Raven. Meredith Gammon Hotetsu's Zen Blog. 183 Cases "Each post is a chapter of Robert Aitken's Zen Master Raven, with an introduction and verse by Meredith Hotetsu Garmon."

"A uniquely playful and incisive collection of Zen teaching stories from a beloved American master. A modern classic, now in a new expanded edition. In the tradition of the great koan collections and the records of ancient masters, Robert Aitken distills a lifetime of teaching down to its essence. Intriguing and deceptively simple, Zen Master Raven is a brilliant encapsulation of Zen in over a hundred koan-like encounters alongside many charming illustrations. Featuring curious beginners like Mallard and Mole and profound teachers like Brown Bear, Moose Roshi, and Zen Master Raven himself, this classic of contemporary Zen and will inspire seekers for generations to come." - Amazon

Zen Master Raven by Robert Aitken. PDF, 2010 Pages. Terebess Bootlegged Copy? Likely an unauthorized bootleg!

"In the tradition of the great koan collections and the records of ancient masters, Robert Aitken distills a lifetime of teaching down to its essence. Intriguing and deceptively simple, Zen Master Raven is a brilliant encapsulation of Zen in over a hundred koan-like encounters alongside many charming illustrations. Featuring curious beginners like Mallard and Mole and profound teachers like Brown Bear, Moose Roshi, and Zen Master Raven himself, this classic of contemporary Zen and will inspire seekers for generations to come." - Review

The Journey: Big Panda and Tiny Dragon. By James Norbury. Illustrated by James Norbury.

Big Panda and Tiny Dragon. By James Norbury. Illustrated by James Norbury.

The Boy, the Mole, the Fox, and the Horse. By Charlie Mckesy. Illustrated.

The Complete Tales of Willie-the-Pooh. By A. A. Milne. Illustrations by Ernest H. Shepard.

The Tao of Pooh and Te of Piglet. By Benjamin Hoff.

Vegetable Roots Discourse: Wisdom from Ming China on Life and Living. By Hong Zicheng. Translated with notes by Robert Aitken. Counterpoint, 2007, 240 pages. "Written 400 years ago by a scholar in the Ming Dynasty, one hundred years after Columbus and around the time Shakespeare completed Henry VI, accomplished scholar and philosopher Hong Zicheng retired from public life and settled down to write an informal compilation of his thoughts on the essence of life, human nature, and heaven and earth. Though he wrote other books as well, only this one has survived—thanks largely to its continuous popularity, first in China and later in Japan and Korea. Entitled Caigentan (Vegetable Roots Discourse), this book has been studied and cherished for four hundred years. Terse, humorous, witty, and. above all, timely, this book offers a provocative and personal mix of Daoist, Buddhist, and Confucian understanding. It contains 360 observations that lead us through paths as complex, absurd, and grotesque as life itself. While it has been translated into many languages, this comprehensive version will immediately become the standard edition for generations of English readers to come.es."

Buddhism: Bibliography, Links, Information, Resources. Compiled by Michael P. Garofalo.

 

 

 

636 Riddles, Jokes, Witticisms, Brain Teasers, Humor, Bad Jokes

 

636 Riddles, Corny Jokes, Witticisms, Brain Teasers


Riddles, Puzzles, Paradoxes, Humor

Curious Questions, Brain-Teasers

Koans, Quizzers, Jokes, Nonsense

Knock Knock Jokes, Corny Jokes

Spoonerisms, Clever Statements

Cliches, Bad Jokes, Quips, Puns

Fallacies, Witticisms, Definitions

636 Quotations

Compiled by Michael P. Garofalo

636 Riddles, Corny Jokes, Witticisms, Brain Teasers

No Advertising, No Pop-Up Ads, No Boxed Ads!

No Cookie Requests, No Videos, No Commercials!

636 Riddles, Corny Jokes, Witticisms, Brain Teasers

350+ Riddles, Puzzles, Brain Teasers, Knock Knocks, Corny Jokes.

 

350+ Riddles

Riddles, Puzzles, Paradoxes, Humor
Curious Questions, Brain-Teasers
Koans, Quizzers, Jokes, Nonsense
Knock Knock Jokes, Corny Jokes
350+ Riddles

Compiled by Michael P. Garofalo

 

Gardening Jokes, Humor, Riddles, Puns, Quips

Zen Koans

Pulling Onions: Over 1,000 Maxims, Quips, One-Liners

Cloud Hands Blog

Cliches

Haiku

350+ Riddles

Advice for the Elderly

"Japanese Advice for the Elderly
Aging Hints from Hinohara Shigeaki, 1911-
(translated and adapted from Tanoyaku, Vol 38, June, 2007)

Emphasize love, not hate
Recognize your imperfection but aim to improve
Try something new
Focus your attention; don't waste time thoughtlessly
Find a model person to imitate
Seek to empathize
Value encounters with others
Maintain small eating habits
But don't be neurotic about diet; enjoy food
Walk; use stairs as much as possible
Participate in group sport activities
Enjoy leisure; avoid a life with only work
Handle stress by exercising; walk, play
Take responsibility for your own behavior
Change habits when necessary; don't be obsessed with maintaining habits"
-  Advice for Aging Well from David K. Reynolds, Ph.D.

A New Weekly Workout Plan

Monday      
Beat around the bush
Lift myself up by the bootsraps
Make mountains out of mole hills
Get all fired up
Jump to conclusions
Climb the walls

Tuesday
Drag my heels
Make my point
Push my luck
Pull my own load
Hit the nail on the head

Wednesday      
Bend over backwards
Jump on the Band Wagon
Grab all I can get
Run around in circles
Shoulder my share of responsibility

Thursday    
Shop till I drop
Hang loose
Grind to a halt
Rest and recuperate

Friday      
Push it to the limit
Pull out all the stops
Add fuel to the fire
Pave the roadway to hell
Throw it all away

Saturday
Open a can of worms
Put my foot in my mouth
Start the ball rolling
Go over the edge

Sunday
Pick up the pieces.
Wade through the morning paper
Lift my spirits
Toot my own horn

-  Mike Garofalo, 2005, Aging Well

 

Advice about Getting Older

"The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for." - Will Rogers

"As we grow older, we become like old cars – more and more repairs and replacements are necessary." - C.S. Lewis

"Old age comes at a really bad time." – Sam Banducci

"Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened." - Jennifer Yane

"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it." - Golda Meir

"I’m so old that my blood type is discontinued." - Bill Dane

"The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. - Mark Twain

"Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes, age just shows up all by itself." - Tom Wilson

"I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do." - Phyllis Diller

"Is it nice to be here? Heck, at my age it’s nice to be anywhere." – George Burns

"Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up." - John Wagner

“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” - Kitty O’Neill Collins

“Older people shouldn’t eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.” – Robert Orben

"Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on Saturday night and when the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you." - Ogden Nash

"It’s important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle." – Unknown

“I have successfully completed the 30-year transition from wanting to stay up late to just wanting to go to bed." – Unknown

"At age 20, we worry about what others think of us… at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us… at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all." - Ann Landers

"When I was young, I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties, I was called eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the exact same things I did back then, and now they label me senile." - George Burns

"I complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very few of them actually got past." - Robert Brault

“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” - Larry Lorenzon

“The older I get, the better I used to be.” – Lee Trevino

"I was thinking about how the older they get, people seem to read the bible a lot more, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam."- George Carlin

"I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap." - Bob Hope

"I’m 59 and people call me middle-aged. Tell me how many 118-year-old men do you know?"- Barry Cryer

"I don't drink alcohol anymore—I get the same effect just standing up fast." – Anonymous

“By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned just about everything. The trick is in remembering it.” - George Burns

“Old age isn’t that bad when you consider the alternative.” – Maurice Chevalier

"Getting older. I used to be able to run a 4-minute mile, bench press 300 pounds..., and tell the truth." - Conan O’Brien

"Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does." - J. Norman Collie

"You know you're getting old when everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work." - Hy Gardner

"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old." - Mark Twain

"There’s one advantage to being 100, there’s no peer pressure." - Dennis Wolfberg

"I've never known a person who lives past 100 who is remarkable for anything else." —Josh Billings

"At my age ‘getting lucky’ means walking into a room and remembering what I went in there for." – Unknown

"The idea is to die young as late as possible." - Ashley Montagu

"People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit." - George Burns

"Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician." - Anonymous

"It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” -  Andy Rooney 

Aging Well
By Michael P.  Garofalo

Pulling Onions by Mike Garofalo

Here are a few selections from a collection of 1,043 one-liners (i.e., quips, quotes, aphorisms, jokes, observations, etc.) from Pulling Onions by Michael P. Garofalo:

Mother Nature is always pregnant. 
Time creeps, walks, runs and flies - it is all about moving things. 
Chaos breaks its own rules to allow Order to play. 
Dogmatists are less useful than dogs. 
Take life with a grain of salt, and a icy margarita. 
The best things in life are more expensive than you think. 
Rather than "love mankind," I'd rather admire a few good people. 
Some flourish when crowded together, others don't. 
Garbage In, Compost Out. 
It is more about You and Now, rather than Them and Back Then. 
Hunting for tomato worms- no mercy. 
A pocket knife will be its dullest at just the right time. 
While gardening the borders between work and play become blurred.
When gardening, look up more often.
Just the right words can be worth more than a thousand pictures. 
Death's door is always unlocked. 
A flower needs roots; beauty a society of minds. 
A callused palm and dirty fingernails precede a Green Thumb. 
A working hypothesis is far better than a belief. 
Only two percent of all insects are harmful.  Why are they all in my garden? 
Create your own garden, the god's certainly won't. 
That something is eternal is unverifiable. 
Most laws of Gardening are merely local ordinances. 
Failures, disorder and death are the Grim Reaper of Entropy at work. 
Somehow, someway, everything gets eaten up, someday. 
The meaning is lost in the saying - a nature mystic's dilemma. 
Vigorous gardening might help more than a psychiatrist's couch. 
A gardener is no farmer, he is much too impractical. 
No garden lasts for long - neither will you. 
Shade, in the summer, is as precious as a glass of water. 
A wise gardener knows when to stop. 
Gardens are demanding pets. 
Unclench your fist to give a hand. 
The little choices day after day are the biggest issue. 
Gardening is but one battle against Chaos. 
When life gives you onions, you ain't making lemonade. 
Many friendships are sustained by a mutual hatred of another person or group.
Read until you go to seed. 
Death's door is always unlocked. 
Autumn Yellow, the mirror image of Spring Green. 
What you see depends on when you look. 
Beauty is the Mistress, the gardener her slave. 
One's "true self" is changing and elusive. 
A little of this and a little of that, and some exceptions - these are the facts. 
Does a plum tree with no fruit have Buddha Nature?  Whack! 

-   Pulling Onions by Mike Garofalo  (1,043 One Line Quips)  

 

Elvira Memories

I lived in East Los Angeles for 54 years. Television viewing included watching some horror movies hosted by Elvira.

"Cassandra Peterson (born September 17, 1951) is an American actress best known for her portrayal of the horror hostess character Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. She gained fame on Los Angeles television station KHJ-TVwearing a revealing, black, gothic, cleavage-enhancing gown as host of Elvira's Movie Macabre, a weekly horror movie presentation. Her wickedly vampish appearance is offset by her comical character, quirky and quick-witted personality, and Valley girl-type speech."

Harmonica Humor

I enjoy the UTube videos by Mr. Harproli.  He is a fine harmonica player with a quirky sense of humor.  Harproli is featured in various skits while playing his harmonica.  Good fun.

There's so much to be done

To experience the Five Animal Frolics we need to keep in mind the "Frolics" aspect of this movement art: being playful and exuberant, freeing up our time for fun, delighting in bodily movements, enjoying games of imitation, taking pleasure in the moment, and delighting in the exercise of fantasy and imagination.  We should be smiling as we enjoy our playful frolics.  We should strive to return to our youth, and rekindle those memories of our joyful childhood games, innocence, freedom of fancies, and silliness.  We are never too old to embrace that precious child within each of us.  

Bear Frolics: Lessons, Bibliography, Notes

The Complete Tales of Winnie-the-Pooh.  By A. A. Milne.  With decorations by Ernest H. Shepard.  New York, Dutton's Children's Books, 1994.  344 pages.  Color illustrations, hardbound.  ISBN: 9780525457237.  Originally published in 1926, 1954.  This book includes: Winnie-the-Pooh, and The House at Pooh Corner, VSCL.  
 
The Te of Piglet.  By Benjamin Hoff.  New York, Penguin Books, 1992.  257 pages.  ISBN: 0140230165.  VSCL.  

The Tao of Pooh.  By Benjamin Hoff.  New York, Penguin Books.  VSCL 
  
The most famous literary Bear is Winnie the Pooh.  Over 26 million English language books by A. A. Milne about the Pooh Bear and his friends have been sold since 1926, the books have been translated into scores of languages, and Disney Films has made him even more famous and a lucrative commodity line.  Benjamin Hoff has explored how Pooh Bear is a quintessential "Taoist Bear."   

So ... it is just fine for you to Dance like a Bear.
Become a Silly Bear for a awhile.
Enjoy the real honey of just being right were you are,
   here and now, content,
   Pooh, it is quite easy.
 

"Christopher Robin and I walked along
Under branches lit up by the moon
Posing our questions to Owl and Eeyore
As our days disappeared all too soon
But I've wandered much further today than I should
And I can't seem to find my way back to the Wood
So help me if you can
I've got to get back
To the House at Pooh Corner by one
You'd be surprised
There's so much to be done
Count all the bees in the hive
Chase all the clouds from the sky
Back to the days of Christopher Robin and Pooh."
- Return to Pooh Corner,  Words and lyrics by Kenny Loggins, 1969, MCA Musi

Gym Time: Dave Draper's Insights

"The time I spend in the gym is devoted to getting the job done to the best of my ability. That means determining the path I should travel, commencing the workout without wasting time, warming up and getting up to speed proficiently, seeking muscle overload within the majority of dedicated sets, always assessing risk and injury, and maintaining form, focus and pace. Nothing amazing, just forward motion.

This is how one builds muscle and might, assuming, of course, smart eating and rest are concurrent. Within the tight parameters of this training system, there is efficiency, discipline, attention, care, assurance, patience and order. And none of these would fly without a clear goal in mind, and a strong commitment to it. More essential requirements.

Being a mature musclebuilder, I can chew gum and lift weights at the same time (I admittedly must be ever vigilant, however, lest I chip a tooth on a five-pound plate). This heady advantage allows me to observe my surroundings, the people and equipment hard at work (or not) to my left and right. I observe and I wonder, neither of which is a mindless daydream or a glazed gaze. They're unusually stimulating acts of the mind and soul, which no doubt raise my metabolism much the same as mild aerobics. I wonder intensely."

I really enjoy reading Dave Draper's weekly short essays about life in the gym, bodybuilding, and aging gracefully with power.  

Visit his Bodybuilding, Weight Training, Nutrition Guidelines from Mr. Universe Dave Draper.

Dave Draper (1942-) offers a brief and interesting free weekly email newsletter.

For more information on strength training and bodybuilding for persons over fifty, check out my webpage on the subject.   


Brother Iron, Sister Steel: A Bodybuilder's Book  By Dave Draper.  OnTarget Publications, 2001, 337 pages.  I've read my copy a number of times over the years.