Showing posts with label Puzzles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Puzzles. Show all posts

Thursday, November 13, 2025

727 Riddles, Puns, Brain Teasers, Corny Jokes, Quips, Humor

  

727 Riddles, Corny Jokes, Witticisms, Brain Teasers


Riddles, Puzzles, Paradoxes, Humor

Curious Questions, Brain-Teasers

Koans, Quizzers, Jokes, Nonsense

Knock Knock Jokes, Corny Jokes

Spoonerisms, Clever Statements

Cliches, Bad Jokes, Quips, Puns

Fallacies, Witticisms, Definitions

Discordian Statements

727 Quotations

Compiled by Michael P. Garofalo


727 Riddles, Corny Jokes, Witticisms, Puns, Brain Teasers


No Advertising, No Pop-Up Ads, No Boxed Ads!

No Cookie Requests, No Videos, No Commercials!


727 Riddles, Corny Jokes, Witticisms, Brain Teasers


Sunday, July 20, 2025

Can You Grasp Emptiness?

The Fireplace Records, Chapter 1

Can You Grasp Emptiness?

One drizzling cold afternoon, Shih-kung and Hsi-tang stopped along the steep trail up to the Temple on Mount Wudang.  They rested while quietly sitting.  Shih-kung picked up a small rock and tossed in down the hill. A short while later, Shih-kung asked Hsi-tang: "Can you grasp emptiness?" Hsing-tang replied: "Yes, I think I can."  Shih-kung continued: "How would you grasp emptiness?"  Using his hand, Hsi-tang then grasped at empty space.  Shih-kung replied: "You are 70% correct, and 30% uncertain." "Then how do you do it?" asked Hsi-tang.  Shih-kung then grasped Hsi-tang's ear and pulled it. Hsi-tang exclaimed "Ouch, your hurting my ear!"  Shih-tang said "You can grasp and hear emptiness only in this way."  Hsi-tang gently rubbed is ear, laughed, and told Shih-kung, "You are a clever devil, Shih-kung, and your diligent practice on your zither has improved your music." 

Hsi-tang then picked up a small rock and tossed it down the canyon.  

Both listened.  Both smiled.


Capping Verse

Opening bell
echoes from the canyon walls 

raindrops on the river.

The sounds of rocks bouncing off rocks;
the shadows of trees traced on trees.

We sit quietly, still.
The canyon river chants,
moving mountains.

The sermon spun on the still point:
dropping off eternity, picking up time;
letting go of self, awakened to Mind.


Can You Grasp Emptiness?  A Dialogue.
By Michael P. Garofalo


- For a insightful discussion of Eihei Dogen's (1250-1253 CE) views on Buddha-Mind, expressions and actions, existence, emptiness, the total exertion of a single thing, thusness, and time read Chapter 4 of "Eihei Dogen: Mystical Realist," by Hee-Jin Kim, 2004.

Another version of the Shih-kung and Hsi-tang dialogue is found on p.134 of Hee-Jin Kim's fine book.

Spiritual Stories and Dialogues

Zen Poetry

Refer to Fireplaces, Stoves, Hearths, Campfires



"There is no such thing as an empty space or an empty time. There is always something to see, something to hear. In fact, try as we may to make a silence, we cannot." - John Cage


The Fireplace Records Compiled with Commentary by Michael P. Garofalo








A Sidewalk Poem by Esther M. Sternberg, M.D. 








Sunday, September 22, 2024

Why Did the Bodhidharma Walk So Far Away?

The Fireplace Records, Chapter 3




The Young Bodhidharma Walks Back to India from China
He did not sit for seven years in a cave.
Where is his Backpack?
Why are his clothes not dirty?
Is he a Fang-shih?


Why Did the Bodhidharma Walk So Far Away? 

Two old friends were resting after morning chores on the farm.  They sat and watched the busy traffic on the dirt road from Wuhan to Huarong. 

Seigen asked Obaku: "What was Master Bodhidharma's intention in walking west from India to China?"

Obaku, a Taoist scholar, answered: "He likely preferred the warmer winters of  Wuhan to the blizzards in Tibet.  Or, he just enjoyed backpacking for great distances back and forth."

Seigen, a Chan man, said: "Really, Obaku, don't you believe he traveled to spread the Buddha Dharma to our Chinese people?"

Obaku replied: "Maybe, but why then did he choose to sit in silence facing a stone wall for seven years in China? How could he help others in so doing? He could have died from such extreme austerities.  And, he could have saved Dazu Huike's arm. He should have spent the time learning to speak, read, write, and teach in Chinese."

Seigen, a bit annoyed, said; "But, Obaku, was he not a great leader at the Shaolin Temple in Luoyang and the Sixth Patriarch of Chan Buddhism?"

Obaku retorted: "He could have been more gracious towards the generous and kind Emperor Wu. Was he not sort of a rough Tibetan hardened fellow, a Foreigner?  His alleged name, "Bodhidharma," seems suspicious to me."

Seigen would not give up, and said: "What? Did not the Bodhidharma bring vital bodily exercises and martial arts to those lazy Shaolin monks?"

Obaku replied: "The Chinese people were doing many longevity exercises and internal alchemy practices a thousand years before the Bodhidharma arrived.  Hua Tuo and He Gong were more influential in this respect for more people."

Seigen said: "The Bodhidharma lived for 150 years to show his great healing powers."

Obaku snorted: "50 years or 150 years ... In the end we all rot in our graves.  Only but a few are reborn as the fictions of legends."

Seigen responded: "Obaku, you are full of harsh judgments today.  I sense a bit much of the judgmental thinking of the Action and Karma brothers of your creed; also, your being rather chauvinistic about our beloved Chinese heritage."

Obaku replied: "You are correct, Seigen!  Too much judging distorts our greater awareness, and threatens wisdom.  Also, I should be more respectful of the Patriarchs and our shared new insights. I'm sorry old friend.  

Seigen said: "You are also correct, Obaku. I must curb my hero worship and simple love of legends.  Anyway, back to some quiet sitting, my brother."

Obaku's daughter brought them both a cup of hot tea.  They sipped in silence.  They listened to the oxen carts rattling by on the road, and watched the many walkers traveling west.  A smattering of being enlightened occurred for both of them.  


Considerations 

Too much sitting stiffens the body-mind.
Even the Bodhidharma made the monks work more.
Many Chan monks distained learning and reading,
and because they could not read.
Beware of overgrown imagination and legends.
Question the scriptures and tales.
Don't read with one eye blind.
Beliefs can disrupt sound judgments.
Without right judgments we cannot flourish.
Friendships close the door to petty arguments.  


Comments, Sources

Refer to Master Dogen's Shinji ShobogenzoCase 10.

Refer to my Cloud Hands Blog Posts on the topic of Koans/Stories. 

The Daodejing by Laozi

Pulling Onions  Over 1,043 One-line Sayings by Mike Garofalo

Chinese Chan Buddhist and Taoist Stories and Koans

Refer Also to Fireplaces, Hearths, Campfires, Stoves


The painting shown at the top of this post is from the book: The Chinese Art Book, p. 182.  It was a famous oil on canvas painting made in 1967 by the artist Liu Chunua.  It is titled: Chairman Mao Goes to Anyuan.   


The Fireplace Records By Michael P. Garofalo







"A monk asked Joshu in all earnestness, "What is the meaning of the Patriarch's coming from the West?"  Joshu said, "The oak tree there in the garden."
- Gateless Barrier, Case 37

"A monk asked Xianglin, "Why did the Patriarch come from the West?" Xianglin said, "Sitting for a long time becomes tiresome."
- Blue Cliff Record, Case 17

A monk asked Master Ma, "Please, directly point out to me the meaning of the coming from the West?" Master Ma replied, "I'm tired today and can't explain it to you."
- Blue Cliff Record, Case 73

A monk asked Master Wei, "What is the meaning of the Patriarch's coming to the West?" Master Wei replied, "Please pass me the meditation cushion."
- Blue Cliff Record, Case 20

Now, I understand that the Bodhidharma traveled from India to China.  He would be coming from the East, and thus traveling and coming in or to a Westerly direction.  He traveled to the West from India by the Silk Road from India to China on foot or horseback; or, he traveled by sea. 

For all of these speakers, living in China, the Bodhidharma never came from the West.  He came from the East.

Maybe the Bodhidharma came from a place in China that was in Western China by the Pacific Ocean and then walked to a place in Eastern China in the mountains.  Then, he would be coming from the West.  No wonder Master Ma was tired of this koan.    

Many Patriarchs, over many centuries, many famous Taoist/Buddhist philosophers and spiritual seekers, traveled from East to West, from West to East, from North to South, and from South to North.  Why?  Pilgrimages by monks between Temples and famous scenery locales was a common practice. People like travel adventures. Monks wanted to study with different famous teachers. Civil and governmental strife and war caused the relocation of many monks. 








Saturday, September 07, 2024

What Transcends Lao Tzu?


The Fireplace Records, Chapter 2


What Transcends Lao Tzu?

Ju-ching and Chang San Feng were hoeing and weeding their garden one cool Spring day around noon. Ju-ching asked: "What transcends Lao Tzu, Confucius, or the Buddhas?" Chang answered: "Here, have a bite of my cold rice." Ju-ching responded: "But, you have not answered my question." Chang replied: "Your quest for knowing is quite admirable, Ju-ching. However, sometimes your thirst for mental matters cannot be satisfied. Here, enjoy a cup of cold water." Ju-ching said: "You think that cold water transcends Lao Tzu?" Chang replied: "Yes, or hot tea. The ordinary is the best scaffolding for transcending. The fruits emerge from trees with strong roots. Find the spring that unceasingly flows to nourish your growing garden." Ju-ching was a little startled and said: " Oh! Ah!" and he became enlightened - for an hour.


Considerations 

Enlightenment comes and goes;
Just don't fret your mind or body.
Fathom your being startled,
Revel in your wonder;
And remain steady on the scaffold,
or you will fall into errors. 
Be Patient! 
A callused palm and dirty fingernails precede a Green Thumb.
Only from the Ground of Somethings,
Can Lao Tzu's true words flourish.  


Comments, Sources

Chang San Feng is regarded as a Immortal; a enlightened man who has lived far over 888 years. He appears and disappears at will at different places around the world, and in different eras. He can incarnate as speaking animals and plants. He is regarded as a shaman, fang-shi, wizard, Taoist master, philosopher, fortune teller, mystic, Taijiquan and Internal Alchemy master, wise elder archetype, popular gift giver, odd dresser, and among the revered patriarchs. I have met with Master Chang San Feng many times.

Master Ju-ching (Rujing) was the Chan Buddhist teacher in China of Eihei Dogen from 1230-1235 CE. 

Refer to the Blue Cliff Record (Hekiganroku), Case 77.

Refer to my Cloud Hands Blog Posts on the topic of Koans. 

The Daodejing by Laozi

Pulling Onions Over 1,043 One-line Sayings by Mike Garofalo

Chinese Buddhist and Taoist Stories and Koans 

Refer to Fireplaces, Stoves, Hearths, Campfires


The Fireplace Records Compiled with Commentary by Michael P. Garofalo













Monday, November 20, 2023

350+ Riddles, Puzzles, Brain Teasers, Knock Knocks, Corny Jokes.

 

350+ Riddles


Riddles, Puzzles, Paradoxes, Humor
Curious Questions, Brain-Teasers
Koans, Quizzers, Jokes, Nonsense
Knock Knock Jokes, Corny Jokes
350+ Riddles


Compiled by Michael P. Garofalo

 

Gardening Jokes, Humor, Riddles, Puns, Quips

Zen Koans

Pulling Onions: Over 1,000 Maxims, Quips, One-Liners

Cloud Hands Blog

Cliches

Haiku

350+ Riddles

Sunday, October 29, 2023

How Do You Get Out?

              The Fireplace Records, Chapter 38


How Do You Get Out?


Porcupine Roshi was a jovial fellow. He enjoyed jokes.  He laughed often. He was fond of riddles.  

Porcupine Roshi died last winter of pneumonia. One of his friends was reading one of Porcuspine's many old notebooks. He found some curious riddles:

Imagine you are in a room with no windows or doors. How do you get out?

I dreamt I was in jail and to be executed for a crime I did not commit.  How do I escape?

I thought about all the bad situations I could get myself into. This was driving me crazy. What can I do?

Answers: Stop imagining; stop dreaming; stop thinking for awhile.


How many sides does a Zen Circle have?
Two! The inside and the outside.

Porcupine drew a small circle on the ground with his stick. He sat outside the circle. Then, he said, "We must choose to sit outside of the Zen Circle, or sit inside of the Zen Circle, or standing strong and passing between the two sides of the Zen Circle while laughing at ourselves."


Comments, Sources, Observations, Koans, Poems, Quips:

Know the difference between fiction and non-fiction.
Reasoning can be more useful than dreams or imagination.
It is easy to distinguish between being awake or dreaming.
Deal with real events, not how you imagine them beforehand.
Think about or imagine something positive happening.
Don't let your imagination cripple you.
Nobody ever gets away from the grasp of Death.
Imagining something does not make it real.
Watch out for Porcupine Roshi's sharp quills.

Draw the Zen Circle wide enough so that many can sit within.
A few Zen Koans are riddles, and a few Riddles are zen koans.
Surprise laughter after a riddle's answer is a minor insight of sorts.
Some puzzles have no solution, no resolution, no conclusion.
Drawing a circle is a common metaphorical act in Zen.
What side of the Zen Circle are you on?


Riddles (200+ Riddles, with No Ads.)

Refer to my Cloud Hands Blog Posts on the topic of Koans/Stories. 

Subject Index to 1,975 Zen Buddhist Koans

Zen Buddhist Koans: Indexes, Bibliography, Commentary, Information

The Daodejing by Laozi

Pulling Onions  Over 1,043 One-line Sayings, Quips, Maxims, Humor

Chinese Chan Buddhist and Taoist Stories and Koans

The Fireplace Records (Blog Version) By Michael P. Garofalo




Or








Saturday, April 22, 2023

The Roshi's Clapping Cell Phone

The Fireplace Records, Chapter 19


The Roshi's Clapping Cell Phone


"What is the sound of one hand clapping? asked Hakuin Ekaku in 1740.

Thousands of monks and householders have introspected this famous Zen Koan Case since 1740.  They pounded on tables with one hand, tapped their staff against the floor with one hand, and came up with many wordy replies to reveal the sound of one hand clapping.  

After years of study with Hakuin, after satisfactory revealing the spiritual and psychic impact of the koans, after achieving enlightenment, and after following the Dharma Path thereafter, Hakuin would award his close friend/student, his Dharma heir, with a painting of a whisk and dragon staff.



 

Of course, the mind does the clapping itself, patting ourselves on the back with one hand, cheering us on, applauding our daily efforts.
Bravo! With one hand or two hands clapping, no matter, show your respect and appreciation for all our good work.  

Haikuin painted with one hand, and applauded his student's efforts and achievements.   

My Roshi has a Apple cellphone.  His ring tone is the sound of clapping. Naturally, he holds the phone with one hand.  

I applaud his Dharma efforts!  He needs a pat on the back.  


A Student's Considerations:

Different centuries, different ideas and things at hand.
Applaud, clap for, cheer on the good efforts of everyone.  
Talking is the father of metaphors.
Practical realists would say that a single hand makes no clapping sound; but, poets and mystics favor playing with entangling expressions. And,
we all hear the sound and know the direct meaning of a pat on the back.
Occasionally, the wrong answer is revealing in new ways. 
Even if a pat on the back is not forthcoming, keeping working.      


Related Links, Resources, References


Koans:





Refer to my Cloud Hands Blog Posts on the topic of Koans/Dialogues.

The Daodejing by Laozi    Best? 

Pulling Onions  Over 1,043 One-line Sayings by Mike Garofalo

Chinese Chan Buddhist and Taoist Stories and Koans

Taoism

Buddhism

Fireplaces, Stoves, Campfires, Kitchens, Pots, Firewood

Chinese Art

Tai Chi Chuan and Qigong

Meditation Methods

Zen Koan Books I Use

Koan Database Project

Brief Spiritual Lessons Database Project: Subject Indexes


Sparks: Brief Spiritual Lessons and Stories

Matches to Start a Kindling of Insight
May the Light from Your Inner Fireplace Help All Beings
Taoist, Chan Buddhist, Zen Buddhist, Philosophers
Catching Phrases, Inspiring Verses, Koans, Meditations
Indexing, Bibliography, Quotations, Notes, Resources
Research by Michael P. Garofalo

The Fireplace Records
By Michael P. Garofalo