Tuesday, September 24, 2013

More Onions to Pull

Here are some excerpts from a collection of 771 one-liners from Pulling Onions by Mike Garofalo:

Mother Nature is always pregnant. 
Time creeps, walks, runs and flies - it is all about moving things. 
Chaos breaks its own rules to allow Order to play. 
Dogmatists are less useful than dogs. 
Take life with a grain of salt, and a icy margarita. 
The best things in life are more expensive than you think. 
Rather than "love mankind," I'd rather admire a few good people. 
Some flourish when crowded together, others don't. 
Garbage In, Compost Out. 
It is more about You and Now, rather than Them and Back Then. 
Hunting for tomato worms- no mercy. 
A pocket knife will be its dullest at just the right time. 
While gardening the borders between work and play become blurred.
When gardening, look up more often.
Just the right words can be worth more than a thousand pictures. 
Death's door is always unlocked. 
A flower needs roots; beauty a society of minds. 
A callused palm and dirty fingernails precede a Green Thumb. 
A working hypothesis is far better than a belief. 
Only two percent of all insects are harmful.  Why are they all in my garden? 
Create your own garden, the god's certainly won't. 
That something is eternal is unverifiable. 
Most laws of Gardening are merely local ordinances. 
Failures, disorder and death are the Grim Reaper of Entropy at work. 
Somehow, someway, everything gets eaten up, someday. 
The meaning is lost in the saying - a nature mystic's dilemma. 
Vigorous gardening might help more than a psychiatrist's couch. 
A gardener is no farmer, he is much too impractical. 
No garden lasts for long - neither will you. 
Shade, in the summer, is as precious as a glass of water. 
A wise gardener knows when to stop. 
Gardens are demanding pets. 
Unclench your fist to give a hand. 
The little choices day after day are the biggest issue. 
Gardening is but one battle against Chaos. 
When life gives you onions, you ain't making lemonade. 
Many friendships are sustained by a mutual hatred of another person or group.
Read until you go to seed. 
Death's door is always unlocked. 
Autumn Yellow, the mirror image of Spring Green. 
What you see depends on when you look. 
Beauty is the Mistress, the gardener her slave. 
One's "true self" is changing and elusive. 
A little of this and a little of that, and some exceptions - these are the facts. 
Does a plum tree with no fruit have Buddha Nature?  Whack! 
-   Pulling Onions by Mike Garofalo  (771 One Line Quips)  


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